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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Children (26), Apples (3), Cookies (1), God (23), Nuns (2)

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?" Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."
Students (10), Teachers (13), Books (3), Apples (3), Isaac Newton (1)

How is an apple like a lawyer? They both look good hanging from a tree.
Lawyers (47), Apples (3), Trees (3)

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