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In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian.
Heaven (4), Hell (4), Nationalities (1), English (1), French (2), Germans (6), Italians (1), Swiss (1)

Speaking of airports in Germany, the one servicing the Hamburg area is known to be staffed by a rather snooty ground control crew. They expect you to know exactly where to go and what to do, which may lead to frustration on the part of aircraft captains new to the route. This is the account of one such flight in particular, concerning a senior captain ...

"Tower, British Airways one-seven, completed rollout, awaiting further instructions."

"British Airways one-seven, this is Hamburg ground, clear to taxi to Gate Seven."

"Roger, Hamburg ground, request directions to Gate Seven."

"British Airways one-seven, have you never been to Hamburg before?"

"Yes, a number of times, Hamburg ground, in 1944, but we did not stop!"

Germans (6), Airplanes (2), British (2), Accuracy (1)

What's the difference between Lady Diana and the East Germans? The East Germans survived the wall.
Princess Diana (13), Germans (6), Walls (4)

What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian? Only the first one can make you smile.
Germans (6), Humor (1)

What's cannibalism? Germans eating pork.
Germans (6), Pigs (2), Cannibalism (1)

A house, inhabited by a Greek on ground level, an Italian on first floor and a German on second, got on fire. Who survived? The German. He was out practising marching.
Germans (6), Fire (3), Marching (1)

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