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Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender.

"I'll have a glass of blood," said one.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other.

"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."
Vampires (3), Blood (3), Bartenders (1), Bars (5)

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
Men (107), Wives (31), Bars (5)

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They are married.
Men (107), Singles (4), Bars (5), Marriage (21)

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!".

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Bars (5), Beer (11), Drinks (2)

What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?

Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
Men (107), Bars (5), Clitoris (2)